The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
