I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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