its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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