what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
