i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
