that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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