i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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