You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
