I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
