u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
