Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
