i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
