you guys were way drunker than both of me
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
