Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
