I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
