Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
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