He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
