Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
