he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
