please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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