Sponge bath it is.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
