Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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