Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
