Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
