saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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