That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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