next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize