i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
ok first of all what the fuck
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
