my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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