Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
