Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
