I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
