is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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