new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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