i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
