Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
