Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Bang-toberfest begins!!
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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