yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
