i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
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