Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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