Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
