accomplished twins. life is a go
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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