clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
