That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
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