No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
