okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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