I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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