like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
