I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
our cab driver is having phone sex.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
