He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
