im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize