whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
