Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
