you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Life without a bra equals bliss.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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