I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Are we still banned from the library?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
