sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
