what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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