i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
