The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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