Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
