so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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